Honor Thy Mother
The command to honor thy mother flows directly from the fifth commandment of the ten commandments in Exodus 20:12: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” While this commandment addresses both parents, this article focuses intentionally on mothers—the women who carry, nurture, and shape us from our earliest moments.
Mother who bears the Sweetest Name
Honor Your Mother
MOTHER
To one who bears the sweetest name, and adds luster to the same. Long life to her, for there's no other who takes the place of my Dear Mother!
Author Unknown
Mothers-God's Creative Work
Psalm 139:13–16 describes God's intimate involvement in forming each person: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.” Mothers participate uniquely in this sacred work. They carry life, nurture it, and often serve as the primary shapers of a child's early years.
When a son or daughter honors their mother, they acknowledge this divine mystery. Motherhood is not incidental to God's purposes—it is a gift that reflects His creative care.
Story of Mrs. C
Recently, I was told a story about a woman, referred to as Mrs. C., and her daughter. She was a loving mother who did everything in her power to guide her children on the right path.
After a heated argument with her daughter, Mrs. C told her that she wasn't feeling well and was going to take a nap. She got up from her chair, kissed her three-month-old grandchild, then went into the bedroom and closed the door.
A few hours later, her husband entered the bedroom to wake her up. As he approached the bed, he noticed something was wrong; she was lying face down, unconscious, and not breathing. Panic set in as he quickly moved closer to check on her, realizing the severity of the situation. Without hesitation, he grabbed his phone and called 911, his voice shaking as he explained the emergency.
When the emergency medical services (EMS) arrived, they immediately began assessing her condition and attempted to revive her with all the appropriate measures. Despite their best efforts, it became clear that it was too late. The paramedics informed him that she had likely been dead for several hours and that she had suffered a massive heart attack. The news struck him like a bolt of lightning, leaving him in disbelief and anguish.
In her sudden passing, she left behind a devastated husband, two children, and a beloved grandchild.
This story is not just about Mrs. C, but about her daughter, who never appreciated her mother's love and good intentions.
Throughout their relationship, the daughter was often at odds with her mother. Whenever Mrs. C offered her advice, it ignited a rebellious streak in her. If Mrs. C suggested that she choose the left path, the daughter would stubbornly opt for the right, dismissing her mother's guidance with scoffs and derisive comments.
Mrs. C's main aspiration was to see her daughter graduate from high school and become a productive member of society. However, by the age of seventeen, her daughter had become a mother herself and had dropped out of high school.
Even after becoming a mother, she maintained her previous lifestyle. Instead of getting a job or going back to school, she continued to 'hang out' with her friends, often leaving the baby in her mother's care. Whenever Mrs. C insisted that she take care of her responsibilities, a heated argument would ensue. The daughter would always threaten to pack her things and move out with the baby, declaring that her mother would never see her or the baby again if she continued to pressure her.
In these moments of anger and defiance, she would storm out of the apartment, leaving Mrs. C with no choice but to take care of the baby alone. Mrs. C often found herself worried about both her daughter's choices and her grandchild's well-being.
Mrs. C's daughter had always maintained a distance from her mother, never once showing the affection one might expect in their relationship. Words like gratitude and love were foreign to her; she simply seemed incapable of expressing any genuine feelings toward the woman who had dedicated her life to nurturing and caring for her. Despite all that her mother had sacrificed, the daughter appeared remarkably oblivious to the incredible value of the loving bond bestowed upon her—a bond that many would cherish and hold dear.
With the reality of her mother's absence settling in, the daughter found herself grappling with overwhelming guilt and regret. It was strikingly clear that life without her mother was not only challenging but entirely different from the carefree existence she once led. The safety net that provided her with free childcare and the financial support she took for granted was gone, leaving her with the harsh realization that she must now navigate the complexities of adulthood alone.
Although her father was still alive, he was disabled and always depended on his wife. He was unable to help her.
No longer able to rely on the comfort of her mother's presence or the unwavering support that had been constant in her life. This unforeseen solitude forces her to confront the daunting task of piecing her life back together, a burden she had never anticipated. For the first time, she was faced with the reality of her choices, the absence of a guiding hand, and the stark realization that comes with losing someone who loved her unconditionally. In this painful moment, she must reckon with the truth: her failure to show appreciation may now haunt her, knowing that it is too late for apologies, expressions of gratitude, or heartfelt declarations of love.
Mothers, who see their role as being of the utmost importance, are sacred individuals who play various roles- caretakers, protectors, guides, teachers, and much more. We need to remember that mothers are human beings with imperfections, trying to figure things out. Those who take their roles seriously are our earthly guardian angels. When we make mistakes, they are by our side, lending us a helping hand. They are special human beings blessed by God.
Practical Ways to Honor Your Mother Today
Honor is expressed through attitudes, words, and actions across every season of life. Here are concrete ways to honor thy mother in daily devotionals and daily living.
Regular Contact and Communication
Distance and busy schedules can erode relationships. Establishing rhythms of connection honors your mother by making her a priority:
- Weekly phone or video calls
- Monthly in-person visits when geographically possible
- Handwritten notes that express specific gratitude
- Regular text messages sharing updates and asking about her life
These patterns communicate that your mother matters, not just on holidays but throughout the year.
Verbal Gratitude with Specificity
"I love you” statements matter, but specific gratitude lands deeper. Name particular things you appreciate:
- “Thank you for staying up with me when I was sick as a child.”
- “I appreciate how you always listen without judgment.”
- “Your sacrifice to provide for our family shaped who I am.”
Public expressions of gratitude—at family gatherings, on social media, or whenever the moment feels right.
Practical Support and Provision
As mothers age, honor takes concrete forms: helping with grocery shopping, managing medical appointments, providing financial assistance when needed, or simply being present.
This may include ensuring your mom has access to healthcare, helping her stay connected to friends and community, and advocating for her needs.
Personalize Your Approach
Your mother is unique. Some mothers value time together; others appreciate acts of service. Some respond to verbal affirmation; others prefer quiet, consistent reliability. True honor requires knowing your mother—her preferences, her vulnerabilities, her joys—and tailoring your expressions accordingly.
When Honoring Your Mother Is Difficult
For some readers, the command to honor your mother brings pain rather than warmth. Perhaps your mother was absent, neglectful, abusive, or struggling with addiction. Perhaps the relationship remains cursed by unresolved conflict or estrangement.
Acknowledging Real Harm
If your mother has abused, exploited, or seriously harmed you, your first responsibility is safety and healing. Seeking help from a spiritual advisor, counselors, or legal authorities is appropriate and necessary. Honor does not mean remaining in dangerous situations.
What Honor Looks Like in Broken Relationships
In cases of serious harm, honor may take different forms:
- Setting firm boundaries—refusing contact or limiting visits when necessary
- Refusing to reciprocate harm—choosing not to abuse, betray, or slander in return.
- Praying for your mother's healing and redemption rather than seeking revenge.
- Speaking truthfully about what happened without sliding into contempt
- Pursuing your own healing through therapy, support groups, or spiritual direction.
Forgiveness and Boundaries
Forgiveness—releasing anger and the desire for revenge—may be necessary for your own spiritual freedom, even if reconciliation is not advisable. Forgiveness does not mean pretending harm did not occur. It means refusing to let bitterness poison your own life.
Boundaries are a form of honoring your own God-given dignity. You can say “no” respectfully, limit contact when needed, and still avoid hatred or slander.
Breaking Destructive Cycles
For those whose mothers failed them, a form of honor involves commitment to breaking harmful patterns in your own household. This means consciously choosing healthier parenting practices, seeking education and support, and working through your own trauma so it does not become the template for another generation.
Continuing to Honor Mothers Across Seasons and After Death
Honoring your mother is a lifelong calling—from childhood through adulthood, and even after she has passed from this earth.
Caring for Aging Mothers:
As mothers age, honor becomes increasingly practical. This includes regular visits to combat loneliness, medical advocacy at appointments, financial support where needed, and patient listening, as cognitive decline may bring confusion. It means integrating aging mothers into family life rather than isolating them.
Honoring a Mother's Memory After Death:
When your mother has died, honor transitions but does not end:
- Tell her stories to younger generations, keeping her memory alive
- Continue traditions she began—holiday recipes, birthday customs, annual practices
- Pray with gratitude for her life and influence
- Perform acts of charity in her name—donate to causes she valued, serve in ways she would have admired
- Speak kindly of her and defend her reputation
This ongoing honor acknowledges that a mother's influence extends beyond her physical life. The wisdom she imparted, the faith she modeled, and the love she gave continue shaping subsequent generations.
Honoring Spiritual Mothers and Mentors
Beyond biological mothers, many of us have spiritual mothers—women in the church or community who nurtured our faith, offered wisdom, or provided maternal care. Honor these women intentionally: express gratitude, maintain connection, and publicly acknowledge their importance.
Grandparents who stepped into parenting roles, mentors who guided our formation, and friends who mothered us through difficult seasons all deserve recognition and care.
Take One Step This Week:
Consider what concrete action you can take:
- If your mother is living: schedule a call, write a letter, plan a visit
- If your mother has passed: recall a specific memory, tell her story, perform an act of service in her honor
- If your relationship is broken: pray for healing or reach out to a spiritual advisor or counselor for guidance
- If you are a mother yourself: reflect on the legacy of honor you are building with your own children.
Honoring thy mother is more than obligation—it is worship to God, a witness to the world, and a path to blessing and maturity. The fifth commandment carries a promise for a reason: God designed human flourishing to flow through properly ordered relationships, starting with the women who gave us life.
Whether your mother is across town or across the veil of death, whether your relationship is warm or wounded, the call remains. Take one step today. Honor the woman God used to bring you into this world, and discover how this ancient commandment brings life to your faith.
A Mother's Love
Mother's teaching of love and careAn example of a mother's love:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All of his friends and people around couldn't and wouldn't put Humpty back together again. Along came his mother, and seeing her son on the floor, with tears in her eyes, rushed to his side. Picking the pieces one at a time, she put Humpty Dumpty back together again.
If you have a loving and caring mother, you are blessed. Love and cherish her now and forever.
If your mother is, or was not loving or caring, forgive her and love her still.
The death of a mother can be very devastating. Therefore, it is important to love her and make wonderful memories while she is around.
Although the page is dedicated to mothers, the information above can also apply to special fathers.
Remember, death is not the end. It is the beginning of a long journey.
Our Heavenly Father- Ten Commandments
First Commandment- You shall have no other gods before me.
Fifth Commandment- Honor thy Father and Mother.
-End-
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